Mental Illness version 2
by Chibi Nakoruru
Summary: Pretty much the same as the first...Um, this is the correct version.
1. Shrink Number 1

Insanity  
  
by: Nakoruru  
  
Summery: How I think Malik spends his time.Don't ask now, read to find out!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------  
  
Chapter 1-Shrink  
  
Nakoruru: 8-) Hey, this sounds like fun to write!  
  
Yami Bakura: What now?!  
  
Nakoruru: *leans over and whispers something to Yami Bakura*  
  
Nakoruru/Yami Bakura: *laugh EVILLY*  
  
Malik: ? What's so-  
  
Yami Bakura: You're going to see a shrink, ya poor bastard!!  
  
Malik: Oh, Ra no.ISIS!!!  
  
Isis: Brother?  
  
Malik: Don't torture me like this!  
  
Isis: It's for your own good. ^___________^  
  
Bakura: *looking around* Where's the Spirit of the Ring? I HAVE to make sure he isn't hurting anyone!  
  
Yami Bakura: *rolls eyes*.Baka mortal. *tries to sound innocent* Now would I do a thing like that??  
  
Everyone else: Yes!  
  
Yami Malik: I found a toupee-wearing shrink!! Now give me that flame- thrower!!  
  
Nakoruru: Thanks and um.. hold on. *types fast for about a minute and a flame-thrower appears in Yami Malik's hands*  
  
Yami Malik: *happy dance*  
  
Everyone else except Yami Bakura: 0_o  
  
Yami Bakura: Cool! Can I have one?  
  
Nakoruru: Say "please."  
  
Yami Bakura: *long pause* .please? *faints from saying such a word* x_x;  
  
Nakoruru: -.-' I was about to say "that wasn't so hard, now was it". Um, on to the story!  
  
Bakura walks into the story and Isis drags in the protesting Malik.  
  
Nakoruru: I don't own YGO! And /stuff/ is thoughts. (stuff) is whenever I decide to comment.  
  
~*~ -outside the office building-  
  
Bakura: Dr. Mick is on the forth floor.  
  
Malik: Dr. Mick?  
  
Isis: The psychiatrist.  
  
Malik: *mumbles something very rude in Egyptian*  
  
-inside the office-  
  
Dr. Mick: Hello. How is everyone?  
  
Isis: Fine.  
  
Bakura: Me, too.  
  
Malik: None of your damn business.  
  
Dr. Mick: {:-) *looking at Malik* Ah.you must be Malik Ishtar. Come in. *walks into office*  
  
Malik: *puff sigh*  
  
Isis and Bakura push Malik into the office. Bakura unhandcuffs Malik.  
  
Isis: Bakura.  
  
Bakura: Hm?  
  
Isis: Thank the Spirit of your Sennen Ring for letting us borrow the handcuffs. I don't think we could have gotten my brother to come along without them.  
  
Bakura: Okay. *whispers to Isis* Don't tell him this, but I think the Spirit likes you. ^__^ (Don't ask why, but I think Yami Bakura and Isis make a cute couple.Or is it only my fondness for unlikely couples.)  
  
Dr. Mick: Please excuse us for awhile.Malik and I should speak privately. *pause* Isis and Bakura, make yourselves at home.  
  
-in the office-  
  
Malik: *sits down, legs crossed and arms folded*  
  
Dr. Mick: Would you mind telling me about yourself Malik?  
  
Malik: *boredly* Like what?  
  
Dr. Mick: How old are you and are you getting enough to eat? You look awfully thin.(Ain't that the truth? Malik's always so damn gaunt.)  
  
Malik: *rolls eyes* 16. Yes, I am. I eat whenever I'm hungry. (Must never be hungry.)  
  
Dr. Mick: I hear you have a record for not keeping your word. How does that make you feel?  
  
Malik: That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that the same people keep believing me.Heh-heh-heh.  
  
Dr. Mick: ?! You find amusement from that?  
  
Malik: *shrug* What's it to you?!  
  
Dr. Mick: ............. Moving on, I've also heard you habitually control others using the Sennen Rod. Is that true?  
  
Malik: *EVIL grin* Yeah, wanna be an example of it?! (Malik's starting to remind me of Hiei from YYH)  
  
Dr. Mick: No, Malik.We are here to talk out your problems and help you become a better person.  
  
Malik: Riiight.  
  
Dr. Mick: *refuses to be upset by Malik's rudeness* How do you feel about being here?  
  
Malik: *yawns* *leans back in chair with hands behind his head* So sleepy. *falls asleep* Zzz.  
  
Dr. Mick: .Malik.  
  
Malik: Zzz.the world is mine.zzz.  
  
Dr. Mick: Malik?  
  
Malik: Zzz.go to Hell, Yuugi.zzz.  
  
Dr. Mick: Malik?!  
  
Malik: Zzz.get lost, ya prick.zzz.  
  
Dr. Mick: Wake up, Malik!!  
  
Malik: Zzz... I did your wife, ya poor bastard.zzz.  
  
Dr. Mick: 0.o I don't have a wife...*sigh* I guess I need to wake him up.*shakes Malik*  
  
Malik: GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF ME, BITCH!!  
  
Dr. Mick: Why did you fall asleep? Do you have sleeping problems?  
  
Malik: Shut up. *gets off couch and turns the air-conditioner on high* Mwahahahahaha.  
  
Dr. Mick's chair is right above the vent.  
  
Dr. Mick: ?! :-o  
  
Malik: *grins*  
  
The air speeds up.  
  
Dr. Mick: }:-( *holds on toupee with both hands* Noooooooooooooo!!! (Toupee in an updraft!!)  
  
Malik: *laughing insanely* :'-D *falls off couch* Ow.*resumes laughing* (Laughing so hard, he's crying. Kawaii.)  
  
Dr. Mick: *unplugs air-conditioner* .there.  
  
Malik: *sneaks out, through a window* See you in Hell, asshole! *escapes on his motorcycle*  
  
Dr. Mick: Where's Malik? *sees his toupee fly out said window* Oh, no.Not again.I lose so many toupees that way.  
  
-midway through the second session-  
  
Dr. Mick: What's that Malik?  
  
Malik: *EVIL grin* The Sennen Rod. *brainwashes Dr. Mick*  
  
Dr. Mick: @__@  
  
Malik: *makes Dr. Mick eat his toupee* *laughs insanely*  
  
Dr. Mick: *finishes eating his toupee* @__@  
  
Malik: Gimme the money. *Dr. Mick hands him all his money* *unbrainwishes Dr. Mick* Now leave.  
  
Dr. Mick: I'm afraid I cannot leave until you are cured.*Malik falls asleep again*  
  
Malik: Zzz.Dark forces, I summon you to me, banish these weaklings and mental inferior ones from my presence. Zzz.  
  
Dr. Mick: *seriously freaked out* *makes incomprehensible noises* :-S  
  
Long pause.  
  
Malik: *rolls over* Zzz.zzz.  
  
Another long pause.  
  
Dr. Mick: .Malik.  
  
Malik: Zzz.a cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste.zzz.  
  
Dr. Mick: Malik?  
  
Malik: Zzz.remember my name, you'll be screaming it later.zzz.(Hentai-no- Malik!)  
  
Dr. Mick: Malik?!  
  
Malik: Zzz.death called while you where out, I gave him your cell-phone number.zzz.  
  
Dr. Mick: Wake up, Malik!! *shakes Malik*  
  
Malik: I'M NOT THAT WAY, YA HORNY PRICK!! *notices the windows locked* Shit.  
  
Dr. Mick: Now as I was saying-  
  
Malik: *brainwashes Dr. Mick into crashing through the door*  
  
Dr. Mick: @_@  
  
Isis and Bakura: 0.0 *run away*  
  
Malik: *escapes again* Later, bitch-wannabe!  
  
-later-  
  
Dr. Mick: Ugh.Sigmund Freud must be rolling in his grave.*passes out* x_x  
  
~*~ -session three-  
  
Dr. Mick: Malik.Malik.Malik.What are we going to do with you?  
  
Malik: Give me the God Cards and the Sennen Puzzle! ^_________^ (Wouldn't he love that?)  
  
Dr. Mick: *sigh* No, Malik.  
  
Malik: *knocks out Dr. Mick* *sees phone* .hehehehe.  
  
The Crank Yankers opening song starts playing.  
  
Malik: *dials random number*  
  
Random Person that answers phone: Hello?  
  
Malik: Everyone's entitled to be stupid but you're abusing the privilege. *hangs up* That was fun. *dials another number*  
  
Random Person (who just happens to be a super model): What's up?  
  
Malik: Hey! Quit hogging all the ugly! *hangs up* *laughs for a while* *dials someone else*  
  
Random Person: Yo.  
  
Malik: I think therefore I.am not related to you. *hangs up* *laughs* *dials another person*  
  
Random Person: Talk to me.  
  
Malik: If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to power an ant's motorcycle half way across a penny. *hangs up* *dials*  
  
Random Person: What?  
  
Malik: Knock-knock.  
  
Random Person: Hello?  
  
Malik: Knock-knock.  
  
Random Person: Who is there?  
  
Malik: You're supposed to say "who's there."  
  
Random Person: Well, who be there?  
  
Malik: No you fool, you're supposed to say "who's there."  
  
Random Person: .Who's there?  
  
Malik: *laughs* Knock-knock.  
  
Random Person: Who's there?  
  
Malik: *laughs*  
  
Random Person: That's not funny!  
  
Malik: .you sound pretty lady.  
  
Random Person: I'm not a lady, I'm a man!  
  
Malik: .you sound very pretty lady.  
  
Random Person: I'm NOT a lady, I'm a man!!  
  
Malik: .you sound very pretty lady. A little annoyed but very very pretty lady.  
  
Random Person: What's with you?  
  
Malik: *in a flirty way* I'm very lonely lady.Wanna go screw?  
  
Random Person: You must be low-breed.  
  
Malik: Bread? I don't like bread.  
  
Random Person: Are you gay?  
  
Malik: ?! What?!  
  
Random Person: Why are you asking me out? I'm a MAN and you sound MALE!!  
  
Malik: Don't be shy lady.I won't hurt you. (Malik.that's just wrong.)  
  
Random Person: I'm a married MAN!! *hangs up*  
  
Malik: That was amusing for awhile. *sees Dr. Mick waking up* Hm.Hehehehe.*"accidentally" breaks phone with the Sennen Rod*  
  
Dr. Mick: .ugh. *regains consciousness just in time to see Malik vanish into thin air* WHAT IN THE-  
  
Long silence.  
  
Dr. Mick: My father wanted me to be an accountant, but nooooooooo. ~*~  
  
-about 1/3 of the way through session four-  
  
Dr. Mick: Are you okay?? Malik?  
  
Malik: *passes out* *turns into Yami Malik*  
  
--- a/n: God help the poor shrink. ---  
  
Dr. Mick: Malik?! /What's going on?? His hair's straight up.And there's a glowing eye-looking thing on his for head!!/  
  
Yami Malik: Hehehehe.  
  
Dr. Mick: *scoots away from Yami Malik* Who.who are you???  
  
Yami Malik: I am, as some who put it, Yami no Malik. Or in other words I am the personification of Malik's anger. Call me Ishtar.  
  
Dr. Mick: *getting more confused and worried by the second* What do you want???  
  
Yami Malik(or Ishtar from now on 'cause Nakoruru's lazy): You'll see. ]D *makes Dr. Mick fall asleep*  
  
--- a/n: ]D is a laughing demon. ---  
  
-somewhere else a.k.a. in the dream Ishtar's making Dr. Mick have-  
  
Dr. Mick's family and friends are out having fun.Meanwhile, Dr. Mick is in an hourglass, that's only about 75 feet in the air. All the sand is in the top.and a random Duel Monsters card is in the middle. Ishtar is sitting on thin air nearby.  
  
Dr. Mick: HELP!!! *bangs on hourglass*  
  
Ishtar: They can't hear or see you.Only you and myself can see or hear you no matter what you attempt. Go ahead and try to escape. This "hourglass" is no true hourglass.  
  
Dr. Mick: Huh??  
  
Ishtar: *disappears and reappears next to the hourglass* You see.humans are at their most lovely as death claims them.Look above you.No not straight up, so you can see the "sand." This "sand" is in reality your life-energy and your memories. First your memories than your very life will slip away. Only after I remove this card.They will slip away.Slowly, slowly, yes ever- so slowly.*removes card* (Oh, the inhumanity.)  
  
Dr. Mick: *gasps* *the sand takes the form of his girlfriend* Anna. *image vanishes* No. *puts hands over where the hole the "sand" goes through*  
  
Ishtar: HAHAHAHA!!! You might as well stop a sandstorm with only your hands!! *the "sand" still seeps through*  
  
--- ~*~outside story~*~  
  
Nakoruru/Malik: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ISHTAR?!?!!!  
  
Ishtar: Playing! ^___________________________^(Sick bastard!)  
  
Nakoruru: On the count of three, okay?  
  
Malik: *nods*  
  
Nakoruru/Malik: Three.two.ONE!! *run at and try to pummel Ishtar*  
  
Ishtar: OW! *falls over* ~*~Back to story~*~ ---  
  
Dr. Mick: *wakes up* *sees Malik and runs away screaming*  
  
Malik: *gets little notepad* *draws the fifteenth tally-mark* Go ME!  
  
Ishtar: *separates from Malik* You didn't do enough!  
  
Malik: *puff sigh* Ishtar.Can't you let me chase away one shrink without your "interference?"  
  
Ishtar: *fakes deep thought* Umm.NO!!!  
  
Malik: *trying to do baby-talk* Pwease?? (Aww.Malik trying to do to baby talk.What's the Psycho Bishie going to do next???)  
  
Ishtar: *thinks* Beg!  
  
Malik: *whimpers and acts like he's worshiping Ishtar* (0.o Lucky Ishtar.)  
  
Ishtar: *laughs* Just one.  
  
Malik: *happy dance*  
  
Ishtar: The next one.  
  
Long pause.  
  
Anzu, Isis, and Bakura walk in. They all stare at Malik who is still dancing on Dr. Mick's hardwood, expensive desk* (Droolness)  
  
~*~ Nakoruru: Chapter 1 is done!  
  
Malik: ^______________________^  
  
Nakoruru: Read and review! Ja! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- 


	2. To Reviewers

Not A Chapter, sorry.  
  
Nakoruru: Hi, it's me…Um, I can't get any ideas from either myself or my muse. So, if you have any ideas, review with them or e-mail them to me at hyozanryu99@yahoo.com. And here are my comments on reviews:  
  
KingOfHearts NCKRAM- Sorry, but the chapter would be pointless if he never woke up…'Sides I'm not going to use the sleep idea anymore. It always made me be mean… *anime crys* I really suck at writing. Anyways! I swear upon all the Ancient Gods, I will NEVER be mean to Malik again. He is my muse, so I think my writer's block is caused by him getting revenge. Wanna cookie and to be friends??? Pwease? I need help and you're a really good writer…  
  
WhiteLightning- Thank you. I was trying to make it strange, the disturbing was because I got carried away, and you're the first person EVER to call my writing good. 


End file.
